I’ve viewed and thought friends were very important to me before when I was in secondary school and in poly. That’s the reason why I got very depressed when something bad is happening between me and my clique of friends and I get pissed off easily whenever something happened and I thought my friends were not “supportive” enough.
I’ve even rejected a lot of my family gatherings in the past just to go out with my friends for the day / night. Despite all these, I was disappointed again and again over small little things that I thought my friends failed to reach of my “expectations”. My last straw is during poly when I’ve been so pissed off to this extent, it suddenly came to my realization that my priority was wrong all the time. Then I slowly cared lesser and lesser.
Until now, I have given up. I’ve grew more and more zen and because I just didn’t expect that much, and so when something happen that would have made me mad before are not affecting me much now.
Okay, I’m going to be very honest here. I was kinda pissed off when the old friends I had were contacting me lesser and lesser in the recent months. But what really made me felt super touched was, it was these old friends that actually did remembered my birthday, and so I’m going to cherish these old friends of mine and am going to try hard to meet them as often as possible just so that we won’t forget about each other as time goes by.
I’m going to try maintaining this zen mood so that I might actually feel happier.