Scream 4 – Movie Review

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(Just realised that the poster is in some other random language, I’m too lazy to take the effort to update this crappy movie’s poster)

This was showed on Channel 5 yesterday and I watched it with my dad, I missed out the first 15 minutes, but I guess it’s not that important anyways, slasher movies are mainly on … … … slashing people? I guess missing 1 or 2 won’t matter.

I think I did watched the first movie before (I think so…), it’s just that most of the slasher movies are very similar to each other, even the “When a Strange calls”? It’s kinda the same thing, erm… with lesser people killed I think.

Anyways, this whole movie had so many illogical points, I have no idea why did I even finished watching this.

I think for one thing, people become 500% more vulnerable in slasher movies, whereas compared to action movies, the people in there become 500% stronger, but well, since I’ve been in a brawl fight before, I’m not sure on the scale of 0-100 of 0 being tofu, and 100 being a brick, which number will a real normal human being stand (not taking into account those people with big muscles). So let’s just skip the part of people being easily killed in this show, because most of them don’t even put on a good fight / struggle.

It seems boring and okay at first, and then killings started. There’s this woman in the car park (where the audience already kinda can guess that she’s the culprit) alone, with no background music, eerily loud echo sound, dark and secluded and she’s walking to her car, and she got a mysterious call from the killer, saying she’s gonna die or something (I don’t even remember what’s the dialogue), amazingly, she managed to rush to the car and got herself inside.

Okay, at this point of time, the usual cliche is that the killer is behind her and is gonna grab her neck and slit her throat or something. The writer managed to surprise me though, because instead of going the usual cliche way, they totally went out of the way. The. killer. actually. appeared. right. in. front. of. the. front. view. glass. So apparently, the killer was sprawled all on the top of the car and just showed his face at the front. No.. really.. why? Because logically, if I’m the driver, I’d definitely just start up my car to knock him off right? So… why? I’d rather they go the usual cliche way, because that’s so much more logical. Let’s ignore this part.

This woman, in the car, actually, I don’t know, maybe we just have different logic. Instead of double checking to see that all the locks to the car are locked. This genius, she actually came OUT of the car (when it’s been damn f*cking clear that the killer is outside. Woman, the killer IS outside!! What the hell are you going out for???)

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I literally did this in front of my tv, literally. Because. it. was. so. damn. retarded. It’s a killer!!! Woman, this killer had been reported to be killing people around the town, and he even dropped you an fyi of wanting to kill her. I nearly said out the f word, but I was vaguely aware of my dad beside me, so I changed to “hell” at the last second.

Okay, so she came out, and actually tried to ran to the exit of the carpark. Why???????????? Okay never mind, let’s just look over this weird incident and pretend this woman never existed in the show.

Another part that made me wanna scream is when this random writer (who is also the sheriff’s wife but that’s not important at all) who had a writer’s block, she want to use, observe, get inspiration, find idea, write a story based on the killings (I think, honestly no idea wtf she’s trying to do). So anyways, based on previous Scream 1 2 3 ∞, the main protagonists (including this writer, okay she’s not that random, but anyways this whole movie seems like a bunch of random people to me anyways, except for the mask itself) deduced that the killer will go to a local Halloween party for a killing spree.

So this random writer went to the party and setted 4 cameras to record down of any killings that might happen. Then again, Killer aside, does this woman has any moral beliefs? She want to record down the killer killing people? *rub temples* Actually, I’m not sure are we going to just catch the killer? Because viewing this on many different perspectives, this writer seems a bit …. <insert bad adjectives here> to me. Okay, let’s just not fixate on any malfunction of moralities here and move on.

Back to the retarded plot, this writer set up the cameras and went back to her car to spy through the cams.. So… After a while, one by one, her camera are blocked out by something, until the last camera, she turned the camera around just in time to see the killer’s mask before the camera was blocked out too. She called her hubby (the sheriff, okay, thus I have to mention it earlier for this) to tell him that she saw the killer and blah blah what not. For some reason, the females in this show all seem to aspire to become retards / dumb shits / bimbos / stupid the heroines of the town. After they both hung up on each other (I don’t remember what’s the order of the hanging up, no one cares), 2nd genius went back to the place to fix the cameras. Really, went back in bare-handed, the only person 2nd genius informed is her husband who are like at least a few km away and might / might not rush here because he can’t wait for the dumb fuck to die. he didn’t quite believed what she said.

Get this, 2nd genius went back to the place where she set up her cameras, single-handed-ly, bare-handed, to fix her cameras that. are meant for recording the killings of others. She saw the killer blocking off the cameras. and she went back to the place to fix her cameras. she saw the killer in the camera. she went back there to fix it. bare handed. alone.

3vrnn6 (love these memes)

Fine, who am I to judge how they should live their lives anyways. Just do whatever you geniuses want. I bet the killers can’t even find a great sense of accomplishment killing them.

Please turn off logic brain next time when you’re watching stupid shows like this.

Then again, just skip it.

I just wanna give myself a pat for actually seeing through to the end of this movie.

Actually wait, when you think about it. This movie does has a fitting title, it literally makes you wanna scream in pain over its ridiculous plot.

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Gravity – Movie Review

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I don’t really know how I should go about doing this. I rejected my colleagues when they were asking me to watch this, because I didn’t quite fancy sci-fi movies. Unless we’re talking about sci-fi-end-of-the-world-kind-of-films. And I’m not really a Sandra Bullock fan, I’ve never watched her show (I think) but I don’t really like her for no reason hahahs. Maybe just neutral, not to the extend of seeing her make me feel repulsed nor to the point I will want to go watch her movies, on the scale of 0-100 of likeness, maybe 45.

Anyways, and then I heard Oi Oi saying that this show is really great and that we should really watch it. Well, for her to actually really messaged us to tell us about this movie, I thought, “hey! Maybe this show is not bad afterall! And since the reviews ratings are high, maybe it’s not bad.”

Okay, and so I’ve dragged Lynnette and my colleagues with us down to watch this movie and and and I find this show …….






















Wait for it..





















Boring.

First five minutes into the show I’m already suffering from slight motion sickness already.

Ten minutes into the show I’m just happy that I didn’t went to watch this in 3D. Because can you imagine, with the camera twirling and swirling like this, and random shits popping out in 3D, and since 3D effects is really kinda playing a trick on the eyes which already lowered my eyes defense by like 30% I might really end up puking into my colleague’s pringles can.

I’m whining throughout the entire show, about how I wanna clobber Oi Oi, and how I want the camera and characters to stop floating around.

I understand the swirling and twirling of the camera feel is cuz of the non-gravity thing. The way it’s shot around the environment and the characters does create this weird illusion for the audience to feel like we’re in space also. Which kinda sucked for me cuz I get motion sickness easily.

The most successful part of the movie for me is that, I’m really glad that we have gravity after all. It really is a movie deemed of its movie title. I never appreciated gravity as much as I have when I’m watching the show. I’m just hoping that everything in the show can stay rooted to the ground, like. just. rooted. to. the. ground. and. stop. the. swirling.

The show is moving at an incredibly slow speed, much like the speed of when you’re floating around in space I guess. Understandable, since there’s no gravity and everything move 100% slower (again. Thank you gravity!! For making fast paced movies possible!) I almost wanted to just lean back and sleep, and I was complaining to Lynnette throughout the whole movie.

Apparently every 90 minutes the debris of man-made shits in space will orbit around the earth once to hit shits. But but but why is it that everytime just nice when she reached a station thing, the debris will hit her?? Let’s not count the first 2 hits, but for the third hit I thought we can safely assume that those shits already orbited twice around the shitty space, shouldn’t it has reach that stupid last station 2 times already? Or unless I mistaken some parts.

If this is a literature essay, I will say that the last part of the movie when she finally reached the Earth (hurra for her and me), the first time when she couldn’t pick herself up from the sands signifies her state when she lost her daughter. She tried getting up, but failed and felled against the sand again, and then she tried again and finally managed to get up. Much like her experience through the space journey, she nearly given up but she didnt, and she survived the shit. Thus also meant that she’s over her daughter’s loss.

Blogged this mostly on my phone, amazing technology nowadays heh.

Yeah and if this is really a literature essay I might flunk it hahahaha. I’m just not that bullshitty enough keke.

Towards the end of the show I realised that most of the lousy movies in my life were somehow related to Oi Oi, sky crawlers, rum diary and this. Oi oi, if next time you going to tell me a show is nice, tell me if it’s Oscar-winning nice or general-audience nice, I’m definitely the latter hahas.

Mortal Instruments + Elysium

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Hey look! It’s Twilight with different actors / actresses! I think sooner or later I’d be able to compile my list of top 5 worst movies. I usually watch movies that are advertised quite widely, or when the trailers are nice, I thought it’d be hard to fill up that list. But well, actually I think I should have that list already, just that I don’t really remember unless I trace back my past blog posts.

Anyways, I’ll make you understand how bad this movie is, which I’ve already told most of my friends :

I’d rather watch Twilight 5 times than to watch this, and no, it’s not an exaggeration.

I do understand that recent movies are taking up to 2 hours. But I have no idea how this movie can takes up over 2 hours.  10 minutes into the show, I’m getting a little bored. Then things started going a little interesting when the fighting starts. And from there it drops flat down.

Corny show. Full of corns. Guy’s acting was terrible, and he’s not that good looking either, thus no eye candy for me. Weird transition of movies where girl randomly draw rune in the air and never explain how she got it, or what it does, not much explanation of it. Teleportal in the middle of the school campus where not much explanation is done also, guy uses it for lame purposes to please the girl. It’s so much badness I’m not even sure how to say them all.

Just don’t watch it. Maybe the book might be better, or might be another Stephanie Meyer alike book. I think I’d rather read 50 shades of grey.

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Actually I went to watch this show with a relatively low expectation, mainly because I’m affected by Oi as she was mentioning that she heard it’s not great. But maybe because I went in with low expectation, this show turns out to be much better than expected. I was consistently bracing myself for sudden loud noises. Aaaaaaaand, turn out, there’s not much sudden surprises (thank god).

Very typical kind of sci-fi movies. Better than Oblivion though in my opinion.

I realised there’s nothing much I can say about this movie. Because honestly what you see in the trailer is about what the whole movie is about.

I still doesn’t have much love for Matt Damon, despite many people telling me he’s hot, including Oi, but since Johnny Depp to her is also considered hot…. Nvm about her opinion on this. Maybe cuz he’s bald in this movie, I can’t find much love for it. His body is also a little strong? Or maybe I just prefer guy that have not much muscles hahas.

But I like Jodie Foster though :

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SO COOOOOOOOOL. Mainly because of her hairstyle maybe hahahahas. I like the cold, cruel image that she’s expected to portray as according to the character of the movie. Usually people focus on the heroines of the shows, but most of the time, the badass characters are the ones who really has the good acting skills, the evil laugh, the crazy face, icy-cold stares. For now, I can think of the guy who acted as Joker (though he’s passed away), the guy acting as Loki in the Thor. IAN MCKELLEN!!!!! Though he’s not considered a pure evil character in X-Men..  Okay, can’t think of anything else, any more to pile on peeps?

 

The Wolverine – Movie

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Felt like recently I’m being chased by loan sharks to update my blog. LOL. Anyways, couldn’t find anything else to update about recently, so gonna just update about the latest movie I’ve watched.

Hmm.. Quite a okay movie. Actually, it’s pretty hard for this kind of movie to suck isn’t it. Big budget, good actors, good CG. When you have good graphics, it’s pretty hard for any movie to suck a lot. (Unless it’s a whole animation movie, and then the storyline is important).

Anyways, since Hugh Jackman is revealing a lot of skin in this movie, I think it’s kinda nice. But ye can tell that he’s aging, I’m just starting to worry for future X-men sequels, especially the guy acting as Magneto seems quite old already. And when actors changes for a movie series, it’s just kinda sad. (Note, unless the character is like Dumbledore where his facial hair takes a 50% part of his face thus you can’t really tell see if the actor is changed or not. Or, maybe I just didn’t care for Harry Potter).

Well, to be fair, the actress who’s acting as Jean Gray (She creeps me out a lot, I think maybe due to her appearance in X-men 3 where she went bonkers and witch-like) is also showing a lot of skin, so considered eye-candy for the guys (rather unnecessary skin flashes).

Moral of this show : don’t save random people.

Rooftop by Jay Zhou – Movie

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Went to watch this show with LEOs (Forced by the L).

Don’t remember his abs look as nice as the movie poster above though. He’s been showing his body a lot more recently in his public appearances. Specifically starting from his 12 horoscopes album. Anyway, not the main point.

Was’t expecting much from the movie because honestly, Jay Zhou is not well known as a director, or a actor. His music skills, performing and composing wise, are definitely good, he’s talented in that aspect, thus the songs he made for this show are nice. There’s lots of improvements that needs to be done for his acting skills though (nothing to say about his directing skills, because honestly, I can’t tell bad directing from good). Then again, most of Taiwanese actors/actresses are generally bad, I won’t be surprised if this is as far as he’s able to go.

Actually the part I like most should be the credits roll. It’s done like a popup storybook, slices of images places on different position on the z-axis so there’s difference of distances among the objects, it’s actually a simple concept, but I guess it’s the first time I see this effect done for movie’s credits. Hahas. Weird way of describing, but that’s the only way I’m able to think of LOL.

Actually throughout the show, it’s like you know what you’re watching. And at the same time, you don’t really know what you’re watching. I find it amazing how did he even though of a story line like this. There’s so many things that seems irrelevant, and yet somehow he managed to link it together, honestly, one needs talent to be able to piece things together like this.

Overall, this show contains romance,  love triangle relationship, some elements of a prince-and-pauper thingy, Hong Kong gangster triads, blackmailing, struggle for power in gangster triads, musical, environment from at least 20 years ago along I-don’t-know-what street, brotherhood, cheesy scene of a rape which I haven’t seen ever since the last World War II Singapore drama shown on local TV at least 10 years ago, car-racing elements, car accidents, kamikaze, reminiscing of the past,  reconciliation of a couple 50 years later. All in all,  this show carries a lot of elements. Considering that, it’s showtime is only 2 hours. Now that is something.

Well. At least the songs are good. There are many funny parts. And perhaps I should start off with this. It stars Jay Zhou. Guess this are the pros of the show.

Watch if you just wanna… watch something.

PS. I just hope Lynnette won’t kill me after reading this post.